Revival from Survival

I just recently read a quote from Beth Moore:

“Most of my revivals come from survivals”

I reasonated with it at the time, but little did I know that no more than a few days after the Lord brought me to this truth, He would show me what He meant.

Early Saturday morning around 4:30AM I got a call from David.  Thankfully, my phone “just so happened” to be on and “just so happened” (sorry, I love that He’s in the details) to change ring tones to wake me up.   “Hey, I don’t want you to freak out, but I’m driving myself to the E.R.” He was apparently experiencing tingling and numbness on one side of his face, shoulder and arm.  He didn’t tell me this at the time, but he feared the worst: a stroke or aneurism.  After I “came to” and prayed with him over the phone, I got in my car, prayed for the ability to see clearly (I have bad night vision and had accidentally left my glasses at work) and trekked to Fort Worth.

My mind was racing with fearful thoughts: “What if this is a brain tumor like Matt?”  then “how will I be strong enough to handle something like that?” then “Lord, please don’t take him from me…it is too soon…we’re just starting life together”  I did the only thing I knew to do – lift these fears up in honesty to the Lord and remind myself of His character.  I put on some worship music which, per usual, resulted in deep prayer and worship in the truth I know.

I walked in the E.R., followed a red line of tape on the floor, and ended up in an empty room.  I knew he was in getting his CT scan, but his absence was felt deep in my heart.  I wanted to see him and for him to tell me that he was ok.  He has always been the strong one, the one that is always there for me when I’ve been sick.  Now, the roles had been reversed.

After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor came back with the results: the CT scan came back clear (no stroke or aneurism).  She recommended that he follow up with a neurologist should the symptoms persist or worsen.  She released us mid-morning and we were greeted by a beautiful January day.

At the time, this was one of the scariest “reality checks” that I’ve had in a while…perhaps ever.  Afterwards, I began to see the gift we were given.

We were given the gift of gratitude.  Gratitude for eachother.  Gratitude for life and health.  Gratitude for love.  Gratitude for hope, even in the scariest situations.  We even toasted “to life!” at I Heart Yogurt.

We were given the gift of seeing the community in our lives: family and friends checking on us, praying for us, opening up their homes to us.  My family felt so big that day.

We were given the gift of renewed awareness of the beautiful hope that we have in Jesus Christ.  Should David had been taken away, I would have hope.  I would have the knowledge that everything works together for my good and God’s glory.  I would have hope in His purposes, in His presence.

Lastly, we were given the gift of renewed perspective.  After home group on Sunday night, a good friend of mine shared with me that God had to “slap her in the face to get her to see” the situation she was in.  She shared that although there were many warning signs that she was going the wrong direction, she failed to listen, and the Lord lovingly took the situation into His hands.  I loved her discernment and her description of God’s relentless heart towards us.  I feel like that is what we experienced: (slap) “why are you sweating the small stuff?” (slap) why don’t you see and rejoice in the beautiful gift I have given you? (slap) don’t you see that life is but a mere breath?  Almost instantaneously, the chains of getting weighed down in miscommunication fell off and we were left with the joy of life, the joy of having each other.

Yet another revival from survival.  Thank you Lord for answering prayers for my desperation and to truly know You!  Thank you that this comes from moments of survival, moments of desperation.  We believe that only good things flow from your hands and that Your favor is upon us!  This is a good look for us!! mm hmmm

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